Monday, December 20, 2010

On Moving On...

“Friends Forever,” once we had pledged;
“I’ll be with you, right till the end!”
We were made for each other-
You and I were the best of friends!


We did everything together,
We were alone and lonely, never!
When I was sad, for me you shed tears,
When you were scared, I remember feeling your fears!


We always had stuff to talk about,
We cared as much for each other, as we did shout!
We walked side by side on Life’s pathway,
We knew that together, we’d make everything okay!


But somewhere along the line, we grew apart-
You were there, I was here- it tore a hole in my heart!
Things changed, we chose different paths in life-
Inside of me, between choosing you, and going for my goal,
there was strife!


Suddenly one day we were two people, with nothing the same-
Although, I know, neither of us was to blame!
You made newer friends, & so did I-
Yet the pain of your absence made me cry!


We’ve grown older now, and we’ve moved on-
Things have changed; the good old days are long gone!
But there’s one thing I wanna let you know- this ain’t the end-
Wherever we go, whatever we do, you’ll still be my friend!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Back Together....





I'd heard of the prodigal son

He'd come back home, do undo what he'd done!
I'd been taught to believe it, but I knew it was just a parable,
Found in the books, to be read and forgotten!!

And so I left my past behind, I moved on in life
Your love was my dream, and it was broken forever,
Yet the memories would just not go away!
Moving on was the hardest thing I ever did!

Oh baby! You've no idea what I went through!
Nah! u haven't got the slightest clue!
How I pined for another chance-
How I longed to rewind and fix it all!

And so I promise you now,
Now that its a brand new day,
Now that we are back together-
I'll make this love stay!!

It's a fairy tale that's come true, my love!
I believe in miracles, now that you've happened to me!
Oh darling! It's true, love happens to those who believe-
Yeah sweetheart, its a promise, this time I wont leave!



(guys, you'll soon hear a video of my first song.... these are
just the lyrics!)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

BEHIND BLUE EYES…



Pouring rain soaks his clothes, and saturates hi mind. Nothing remains, except for the rage that consumes his every move- it builds uncontrollably! Clenched fists swing aimlessly into the blackness of the night.
He hears a humming. Perhaps it’s religious! No, its children! They sing the most beautiful song he’s ever heard. But why? Why would they rejoice? Rays of soft moonlight shine from the sky. They pierce through the storm clouds and delve into the depths of his soul. Rage is replaced by the most beautiful feeling he’s ever experienced! The music continues as tears escape his blue eyes!
What’s that now? A crescendo? No, that’s not the word! It’s just noise- coming from over there! Is it coming this way? Did they see him escape confinement? Maybe then its time to call it quits! Maybe these sirens, sounding now to him as loud as trumpets, blare to let the world know that he’s had enough! There isn’t time for tears. The blue of his eyes is masked by their redness. But Hope still builds- slowly and steadily!
He wants to carry on! Remember when Kipling asked you to reach down for that hope and nerve and sinew? Where is it now? There- right where he had left it, he’s going to find it- right there in Oblivion! It can be frustrating sometimes- searching for Hope in Oblivion! Voices ask him; no beg him, to stay. They invite him to wallow in the murky waters, to steep in the meadows of despair!

His fists punch the midnight air. The tears don’t stop streaming down his cheeks. The rage continues to build. He screams, but they are drowned in the pouring rain that ironically, can’t extinguish the fire of his rage! Oblivion doesn’t look so bad anymore! Maybe the voices are right; maybe it’s easier this way!
The ease with which he slips into abyss of Oblivion is frightening. But situations do get out of control; and then you can only pray. That’s hoe he’d learnt it! Blurred neon lights pass by- they’re blinding! And as he turns to avoid them, he sees her- welcoming him. Striking is not the word!
Despite her gentle demeanour, she has enormous strength. She can easily embrace him, save him yet again. The warmth of her touch helps him unclench his fists. The gritting of his teeth turns to a quiver of his lips. Burning tears of solitude, grief and despair turn to those of gratefulness and redemption. As he rushes to embrace the ghost oh his dead mother, still beckoning him towards herself, waiting for him with open arms; he falls off the cliff he’s standing on. He hears no more voices, no more trumpets! Only a chilling silence; welcome despite the coldness that accompanies it!
You know what the say-no one knows what it is to be the bad man- the escaped convict that had nowhere to go, no one to turn to but for her who always remains faithful- Death!
You were right, Mr. Bizkit- No one knows what it is to be the sad man, no one knows what simmers beneath the beautiful blue eyes!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Impossible Dream






I am dreaming. I am dreaming what I must not.
Everything is a figment of my imagination. Be it the flitting butterfly with wings of yellow and black, or the marigold atop which it sits; or be it a creation as powerful as the sun- it's just me.

Imagine circles, millions and billions of them, all centered around one point- ME. Everything else is nothing but a part of my entity. I am the center of all that is, and all that will be.

Imagine a graph paper. I am the origin, while everything else holds a position with respect to me. I am the one around which everything is centered.

Ages ago I had created a minor explosion on the surface of my creation, the sun. Fragments of it broke off and hurtled through space until they were drained of energy, and came to a stop, One such fragment cooled enough for micro-organisms to grow on it.

How I regret the day I let the tailed creatures come down from the trees! Maybe they should not have even evolved, after the big lizards perished! or perhaps I should have let the micro-organisms just be as they were!
But now t
he harm has been done, and the primates have evolved at my bidding! I can not destroy them this easily- it just does not appeal to my aesthetic sense to take away what I have given to them, My gift to them- the power of reasoning and thinking-probably makes them giddy with the misconception that they are Me- but the truth is that they aren't.

They have initiated something using this gift- something I did not want them to do. They have learnt to think. They go on crusades. They have learnt to take decisions, and they think they can handle themselves. A few years ago, I had sent someone to decrease this entropy, but He too was nailed to the cross in some barren land, by the lords of the realm. Even today, they squabble and fight. After two devastating wars, they still r
emain ignorant and oblivious. Each hopes to destroy the other, and live a fairy tale life after that. Oh! When will they understand that this will, sooner or later, lead to their downfall?

But even amidst this murk and gloom, there is beauty- the tiny creatures- the butterfly, the greenery, the water- Oh! It will hurt if all this is destroyed!

Ironically, human beings have even invented a name for Me. Some call me God; others call me Time. They are fearful of Me.

But why do they fear Me? I will do them no harm. They are safe.... until I wake up!

Friday, September 3, 2010

More Mon Majhi


More mon majhi! Ei apaar Node kkhunje kaharey berash?
Dekhe je tore murkhota, henshe tara bhora ei akash!
Khunjhish je tui shathi, chash je tui paar-
Pabi toh tui keboli tufan, milbe toh torey shudhui jhor!

Chotto tor nouko shamaal dibi eto bipoder kemni?
hobey je noukodubi, mitbey je tor jiboner shob nishani!
Dheu-a je torey korbey grash, hariye felbi je tui opar!
Rakhbey na torey money je keu, bhuley jabe je torey a shongshar!

Jab Tumhari Yaad ati hai...


Aankhon mein meri hai ek anjani si nami,
Ye dil mehsoos kar rahi hai na jane kiski kami!
Sab kucch toh hai mutthi mein meri,
Phir kya hai yeh ajeeb si besabri?
Saansein toh chal rahin hai, par kya jee rahein hain hum?
Palkein geeli hain, samajh na aye, kaun hai wo ajnabi sanam!

Sapne chod gaya jisne in aankhon mein hazaar,
Kar rahi hun jiska dil thaamkar intezaar,
Jiski aahat ko sun ye dhadkan hai badhti,
Jiske seene ki mehek se ye kajal hai chamakti;
Jiska pyaar hai mera sadaa ka aasra-
Shayad tum hi ho mere jeevan ka wo khush-haal naya savera!!


Binoti




Hajar phuler sourabey sugandhito amaar shwaas,
Hajar tarar aloye ujjwal amaar du'nayan;
Hajar samudrer gobhirataye doobey achey ammar mon,
Tao amaaye koreche a kemon ek udasinataye grash??

Natamastak aami kebol tomari charane, he sakha!
Hrido majhe tomaye pai, tatei toh e jibon-er purno howa;
Shobi ache more kachey, nai kebol tomar bhalobashar chonwa,
Koro he amaaye uddhar; binita, ami tomar Anamika!


Guys... this is my first attempt at writing bengali poetry, so please don't mind if I haven't done justice to it! This poem is an appeal by a young, ambitious woman to the omnipresent, omnipotent and all knowing God; the only one she's ever going to kneel before, to bless her life. She knows she has everything that she could ever ask Life for, yet an unknown pain eats away at her heart. It is then that she realizes that what's missing is the touch of the Almighty in her life!




Friday, July 2, 2010

Ehsaas...

Goonj rahi hai kanon mein madhur say eh jo dhun,
Sun re sathi, tu bhi isey sun!
Shayad hai yeh meri ma ki choodiyon ki khanak,
Shaya hai yeh meri behen ke payal ki chanak!
Sun re sathi, tub hi isey sun!!

Dikh rahe hai haseen say eh jo mujhe sapne,
Bol mitr, kya ishara de rahe hain mujhe mere apne?
Rache hain ye khwab, mere taat ke seene ki dridhta se,
Range hain yeh swapn, mere bhai ki lahu ki lalima se!
Bol mitr, kya ishara de rahe hain mujhe mere apne?

Varsha ka yeh meetha jal, bujhaye jo mera pyaas,
Aa bandhu, tub hi soongh in phoolon ka suvaas!
Ghula hai isme mere guru ke gyaan ka ujala,
Laye yeh door se, mere mahi ke prem ka sandesa
Aa bandhu, tub hi soongh in phoolon ka suvaas!!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Tumharey Intezar Mein

Tumharey intezar mein khadi hun, jeevan-raah ki iss mod par-
Tumharey intezar mein jag sara machal utha, jhoomkar!

Tumharey intezar mein akash ye vistrit, laga sikudne-
Tumharey intezar mein zameen ye lagi paniyon mein ghulne!
Tumharey intezar mein chand-suraj milkar ho gay ek-
Tumharey intezar mein aag ne bhi khoye apna sara tez!

Tumharey intezar mein nadiyan ye ruki, sagar se milne ab vo daudti nahi-
Tumharey intezar mein panchiyan pukar rahi, door van mein kahin!

Tumharey intezar mein indradhanush ke sarey rang chamk uthey-
Tumharey intezar mein hawayein sari dishaon ki, lagi thamney!


Tumharey intezar mein badalon ko chirkar choom rahi hai mujhe ye suryakiran-
Tumharey intezar mein prakriti khud bani meri abahran!


Tumharey intezar mein main sun rahi hun madhur si ek sargam-
Mitr, tum na aye, toh ajivan yuhi rahengi meri aankhen nam!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Kash...



Kash ki tumne meri tanhayi ko yunhi rehne diya hota-
Kash ki tumne is registan mein baarish ki ummeed na dikhayi hoti!
Kash ki tumne is toote dil ko fir se joda na hota
Kash ki tumne in ghavon par marham lagaya na hota-


Kash ki tumne mujhe khushi ka raasta na dikhaya hota-
Kash ki tumne mere kam ko laghav na kiya hota!
Gam mere katey, dobara dukhane ke liye-
Khushiyan mujhe mili, dobara khoney ke liye!


Ghav mere bharey, is baar aur dardnak chot lagne ke liye-
Toota dil mere juda, is baar choor-choor hone ke liye!
Marubhumi mein badal umdey, sirf udd janey ke liye-
Tanhayi kati, mujhe aur akela chodna ke liye!


Khoi khushiyan wapas dhoondhne ki ab mujhme kshamta nahi-
Is peeda ko sehne ki ab mujhme takat nahi!
Kash ki uss ghani raat ke baad suraj dobara nikalta hi nahi-
Kash ki tum kabhi mere jeevan ka ang bantey hi nahi!!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Lonely Star’s promise





Like that lonely star up there in the skiey ebony,
I lie here, tormented, burning the fire of my misery.
She shines up there with all her might,
Her bright rays piercing the blackness of the night,
Yet she glimmers alone, with none beside her,
Like a forsaken bride, bedecked, in her futile wait for her lover…


You too left me in the middle of this journey we were to traverse not singly,
You too let go of the hand you had once clasped so lovingly.
You left me at the crossroads of life, waiting forever-
Life, without you, will go on, but will not be the same, ever!


Like that glowing dot of light in the expansive canopy above
Is for you, my steady, unflinching love…
Like that bright spot in the nightly blackness, I too shine-
Like she does for her beloved, I too pine.
Like her never-ending fire is my patient wait-
Until eternity shall I love you, ‘cos you are my fate!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Mask
















Do you see this face I'm wearing?
It's beautiful, it's calm, and it's caring.
But don't let it deceive you-
'Cos what you're seeing isn't true.
So if you'll be friendly and patient with me,
The real me will be there for you to see.





This face is just a disguise, a concealing mask-
Don't try taking it off, it's a difficult task!
Pretending to be what I'm not is child's play for me-
Creating false impressions is no big deal, despite all my inadequacy.
I come across to you as though Confidence is my middle name,
As though Complacence is in my blood, as though Coolness is my game.






















But don't be misled, for beneath this surface lies no substance-
I'm now scared you'll think of me as a nuisance.
I fear that one day this mask will be blown off,
I 'm afraid that one day this nonchalant facade will come off.
That is why I've craeted so many more such shields,
That's the reason I've stocked up on so many more falsities.




Yet, when you patiently listen to me, when you genuinely know what I feel,
I experience something soothing, my wounds begin to heal.
But if I show the real me, I'm afraid you'll laugh and mock at me,
I'm not sure you'll be able to accept what you see.
I don't know if you'll still love me, or if you;ll take me for a foe,
And that's why I'm hesitant to let the real me show.









When to you my true self will be revealed,
When you can no more be deceived,
I'm gonna be all cold, vulnerable and bare-
'Cos I know not if even then you'll care
To be my friend, faithful and true to me,
To love me, despite all that you see.



Even if you will, I'll have to retain my masks for some time more,
I'll need them again for sure, I know.
'Cos not everybody's gonna understand,
So you've got to let me keep these backups in my hand.
Till then dear friend, thanks for loving me true,
I promise I'll throw away these masks when I learn to love mysef too...

Sunday, May 30, 2010

A Reflection of Tomorrow...




I stand in front of the mirror. I expect to see my pretty face reflected in the glass. But then, someone else from within the glass stares back at me; someone who looks uncannily similar to me, someone staring back at me with her defiant, piercing eyes.
Is this a trick of the light? Is the sunlight that streams into my room and falls on the glass, being reflected back the wrong way? I move to my window and draw the curtains before I look into the mirror again. But the apparition remains- her eyes devoid of the sparkle in mine, her cheeks missing the glow on mine, her hair lacking the luster in mine; her lips not curved like my smiling ones… in fact she is frowning. Who is she? A thousand questions regarding her identity bombard my mind. What is this morosely mysterious figure doing in a place where I should be present? The reflection should be mine!!!

And that is when I realize- this is not an anomaly. This is ME. This is how I will look a few years hence- ageing and alone; my broadened hips and sagging breasts reminding me of the past when I was so beautiful, so well formed.

I am a dancing girl- or more euphemistically, an “entertainer”. Everybody knows that a dancing girl does more than just dance, to entertain her clients- I am nothing different.

All men enjoy being with me. They lavish compliments on my beauty and my skill at pleasing them. They keep coming back to me, for I can give them a lot. My slim hips, my well rounded waist and my beautiful face satisfy them. They ignore their wives to be with me. I am like the magnet, capable of attracting them with immense strength. All men feel irresistibly drawn to me. To an outsider, I lead the perfect life- for I have beauty, enough wealth to sustain myself comfortably, no commitments, and of course, so much attention!

But the image in the mirror draws my attention to my future- when I will be beautiful no longer, when I will be drained of my youth. It reminds me of the tomorrow that I don’t want to face, of the beginning of my end. It reminds me that my state will soon be like that of a withered flower, deprived of its nectar. It tells me that the day is not far when I will be sought after no more, when there will be nobody left to care for me. I do not know how much money I will save till then; and if I can sustain myself in the future, for I have nobody to turn to when I will be incapable of earning anymore.

I have known no other world beyond this pleasure house. Right since the time I was a little girl, I’ve been here. This damp, cold building has bee home to me since forever. I am adept at no skill other than that I practice; I know not how the world outside will treat me when I’m out there on my own. I am not a ‘respectable’ woman. I don’t think the world outside will be a bed of roses… In fact I think the thorns themselves will prick me to a rosy red.

There in the distance I hear the church bells chime. They remind me of the promise made by the Son of God, “Knock, and the door shall be opened.” The traveler to Samara had drunk water from the pitcher of Mary Magdalene- the woman with five husbands. Will He accept this unchaste woman as his child too? Will I get to sit at his feet? Will he bless me as he blesses the ‘respectable’ woman? Will he help me steer my boat tomorrow when I will be caught in the tempest? I know not what the scriptures say about this, for I’ve known no religion… I’ve known, and trusted only Him…

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Vaada.... ek pyaar karne waley ka



Kuch log vaada kartey hain- tumhare liye jaan tak de dene ka
Hum vaada kartey hain- atma tak ki ahuti tumhare liye dene ka...


Kuch log vaada kartey hain- apni har khushi tumhare sath baantney ka
Hum vaada kartey hain- apni har khushi tumhe arpan karney ka...


Kuch log vaada kartey hain- tumhare rang mein rang janey ka
Hum vaada kartey hain- tumhare liye jeevan ko apni berang tak karney ka...


Kuch log vaada kartey hain- har dukh me saath tumahara nibhane ka
Hum vaada kartey hain- Har dukh tumhara apnane ka...


Kuch log vaada kartey hain- tumhare liye kuch bhi karney ka
Hum vaada kartey hain- tumhare liye kuch bhi sehne ka...


Kuch log vaada kartey hain- sitarey tak tumharey liye tod laney ka
Hum vaada kartey hain- dhruvtarey ki roshni jaise tumhe pyaar me apne ghirey rakhne ka...


Kuch log vaada kartey hain- saaton janam tumhara sath dene ka,
Hum vaada kartey hain- kayamat tak sang tumhare chalne ka....




A Friend's promise....


When you're down n out,
When even trusted ones you begin to doubt;
When you're fallen n weak,
I'll be there for you- even before you seek!





When tough times test you,
When everything feels unfamiliar n new;
When there's no glory in which you'd bask,
I'll be there for you- even before you ask!



When you feel depressed and blue,
When no truth seems true;
When life seems to be a burden, increasing with every passing day,
I'll be there for you- even before you say!



When to your grief there's no bound,
When you feel as dead and cold as a burial ground;
When you're betrayed by everyone,
I'll be there for you- with complaints none!



When Adversity slaps you in the face,
When with Time you can't seen to keep pace;
When under the weight of grief you start to bow,
I'll be there for you- and this I want you to know!




When your brow's overcast with sorrow,
When you don't want to face tomorrow;
When in the sky of your life no stars are shining,
I'll be there for you- to be your silver lining!!






Thursday, April 29, 2010

The conflicts of being 'Probashi'

It's funny, I notice, how as the days go by, and as I get older and more mature; how I'm being drawn by a seemingly unknown force, to the place where I belong... to Calcutta...

Home is where the heart is, they say!!! They're right, whoever 'they' are... I've been a Bangalorean all my life, so logically thinking, Bangalore is my home!! But strangely enough, I feel somewhat disconnected to this city!

I love Bengali cuisine(I cant live witout mustard oil!!!), I speak better bangla than many Calcuttans(ok, Kolkatans), I literally live on Feluda, Professor Shonku and I've read more Rabindranath than many other Bongs!The one compliment that actually sends me to Cloud number 9 is when people say, "Arpita, you're looking lika a typical bengali!" And when I hear people say that, I don't even need anyone else sayin, "Arpita, you're looking good!" After years of being mistaken as a malayali, a konkani, a kannadiga... ok, everything but bengali, it feels really really good, you know, to be known as a bengali!

It's crazy how my shelves are stuffed with products that very few people ouside Kolkata know- Margo soap, Boroline cream, Nihar oil, Anmol biscuits... comeon, these are very Kolkata specific... they have a smell, a feel about them, that say, "I am a Kolkatan!" And it is this very smell, this very feel, that draws me to them... a thirst for being unique, to be what everybody in Bangalore is NOT! All bengalis, deshi or probashi are big fans of Rabindrasangeet, but not many probashis know the magic of adhunik bangla gaan, cos it's not 'heritage'. But I do, and I'm proud!
I have no intentions of blowing my own trumpet, but I can't resist the urge to show off... and to tell the world that I am a perfect blend of tradition and modernity! I can adapt myself to any situation, any surroundings. But if you ask me to choose, I'm definitely choose Porosh Pathor over Jimi Hendrix; and Shukto bhaat to pasta!

The phuchkas, the wayside chicken rolls, those night time visits to the Ganga ghat with huge paper cartons of jhalmuri in your hand, the launch-boat rides that my aunt let me indulge in for no apparent reason when I was a kid, the excitement at seein "proper Calcutta" for the first time.... there is a cham to all this that cannot be put down in words!

But i've gotta admit... Tollywood kinda sucks!
Yeah,I know we have Aparna sen, Soumitro, and Sabyasachi. I know ther are movies like Dosor. I know a lot of hindi hits have been remakes of bangla(chupke chupke, Amar Prem, and a string of Hrishikesh Mukherji films), songs have been lifted shamelessly from bengali bands(yeah, Pritam plagarised.. bheegi bheegi is actually prithibi ta naki). But Tollywood still has a very very long way to go. Jishu, Jeet and Deb have replkaced the Prosenjit, Tapas Pal and Chiranjit trio. And they still do the same things on screen that protagonists a decade earlier did. Uttam Kumar is gone, and gone forever. We will never see anything parallel Anando Ashram, Saptapadi, and Harano Sur. The Satyajit Ray decade is over, and with it, we have lost filmakers who'd treat us to Charulata, the Apu Trilogy, and Goopi-Bagha films.
With the demise of Monoj Mitra, we don't have thoght provoking plays anymore.
Somewhere down the line, the famous Bengali intellect has been lost. In this transition from being one of the most culturally advanced communities in the world, the community that gave the nation Rabindranath, Amartya Sen and Satyajit Ray; Bengalis have seen a gradual decline in the quality of literature, music, and even education, especially within the state. The one thing we have retained is our famous ego, our pride, which will not let us accept, and then correct our faults.
Probashis are different. We know what it is, to be a bengali outside Bengal!We know its not easy to be the boisterous community. We knoe its not fun to be the only supporters of Knight Riders during the IPL season. And mind you, its not as trivial as you think it is... because for us, the probashis, the little bits of Bengal we carry around, safely cocooned within the recesses of our hearts, it is important to paint the best possible picture of our home state!

Some people say I'm being biased, kind of chauvinist when I profess my love for all things bengali. Because I hve breathed in the air of Bangalore for 19 years of my life. They say I should have a more cosmopolitan outlook, specially since its best o be a roman while in Rome.
But waht they don't see is that I love Bangalore too. Mine is the case of a child who's been raised by somebody other than her mother. Such a child loves the person that brought her up, but that does not mean she's forgotten to love her mom!
I love Bangalore, I repeat! I can't imagine life out of Bangalore. I enjoy being in Calcutta, but I surely can't live there, coz Bangalore is my home.
This is the city I live in, this is the city about which I know everything. This is one place where I colud never get lost in. This is the city that gave me my home, my life, nad most importantly, my education.
This is where I want to see my career grow, this is where I want to own a home, this is where I want to raise my kids, this is where I want to die.
I'm going to be terribly homesick if I've ever got to move out of here.

M.G.Road, Forum, Garuda, Comm street, Koramangala... these are the names I've grown up hearing, and I'm definitely not gonna be very supportive if somebody ever asked me to start hating Bangalore.

I may not be a true Calcuttan, a true Bangalorean neither. But that's how I like it. I like to think of myself as hailing from "Bengal"-ooru. I am an individual that is a blend of the best of both. And being from 'Bengal'-ooru definitely does wonders for my confidence as I move ahead on the roads of life, for it gives me a sense of security, a feeling, that wherever I go, I belong to someplace atleast....

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The search for an identity...

A very strange incident that took place last week triggered off a series of thoughts in my mind- questions about my identity, about the person that I am, and about how I, as an individual, can make a difference.

It all started off last Monday, when I realised I couldn't find my college ID card.
A desperate hunt for it ensued, for if it did not turn up in the next 2 days, I'd have to shell out 500 bucks for a goddamn card with my picture on it- a card that supposedly represents me in a building where everybody anyways knows me! A supposed way of identifying me in the corwd of thousands, that flood the college each day of the week, a means of making me unique in atleats one way, via a bar code.... the scientist that invented bar codes WAS a smartass, I must say!

But really, is an ID card everything? Does it actually define you? Is it all that's needed to prove to the world that you're an entity in yuorself? Do you need nothing more to prove your mettle to the world? What about the talent that the big guy sitting up there supposedly loaded you with, before he sent you down? Is that encompassed in this little card that dangles down your neck? Is it true that this ID actaully distinguishes you form the hoards of students that come to college? Will my teachers, my friends, the the many unknown faces that share the same campus as me, actually recognise me by my ID card?

Or will they, by my talents, my behaviour, my presence in the various activities of college? Will the librarian know me by my ID card which she scans eacg time I borrow or return a book? Or will she, by the infectious smile I greet her with every time I see her? Will my Dean know me by my ID card, which he can confiscate any moment; or by my identity as the editor of the college magazine? Will my taechers know me by my ID card, which they check for authenticity whenever I attempt an exam, or will they by my grades?


In this battle of identities, i feel lost trying to establish MY identity in this big bad world.... with no one by my side!!!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Even in the 21st century.... why????

It's funny how sometimes your opinion of yourself, leave alone of others; changes within the snap of a finger.... take myself, for instance...

I always thought I was a feminist, that I would not stand no nonsense against a woman, however minor that may be...

But today I realize how puny I am, how insignificant my "efforts" seem to be, when I see my own friends line up against me...

Yeaterday, some of ma male friends and I had a discussion about how justified Indian Mythology is, in its attitude towards women in general. I've always had the opinion that Seeta's Agnipariksha was (or rather, is) one of the most glaring examples of how inhu"man" our society was in the days of yore. Men justify Rama by saying that he never had any doubts on Seeta's chastity, it was to satisfy the Ayodhya-vasis that he had demanded the Agnipariksha; that it was anyways not Seeta who took the pariksha, it was Maya Seeta; and the most unacceptable of all arguements- that if Seeta was indeed pure, she'd come out of the fire unscathed!!

I, a woman, ask you men... what are the probablities that Rama himself was as pure as the driven snow? Why did Rama not have to go through the fire ordeal? Why did Seeta have to accept Rama as he was?

And yet today, Hindus worldover call Rama "Purushottama"(the exalted man).

Is this what manhood is all about? Subjugating women? Stifling their voices? Degrading them?
Tell me, Man!

You might tell me, "Wake up, girl! This is the 21st century. What you're talking about does not happen today!"
I'd say...Wake up, dude! Ask yourself if it indeed dos not happen today! Would you really not have a gnawing inferiority complex if your girlfriend had a better degree than you? Would you like it if your wife earned the bread for the family while you took care of the kids?
Tell me....

Sunday, March 7, 2010

I'm starting off...

It has been some time now that I've been toying around with the idea of starting a blog,but it hasn't gotten around to happening, I guess- until today, that is!
I have no lofty aspirations from my blog. I don't expect a huge fan following, neither do I expect a lot of acclaim! My blog will just be a means for me to express my radical thoughts, my vibrant feelings, and my numerous ideas... ! Comments and inputs from well-wishers are welcome, though!